"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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