Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
