I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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