Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
