i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
