Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
