We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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