my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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