hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
