I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
