I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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