did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Your dad touched me again.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
