he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
