I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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