I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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