She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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