try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
