I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
