I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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