I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
