all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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