He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
