Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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