looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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