u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
