Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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