I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
