This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
