my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
