Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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