Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
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The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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