you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
love makes seman taste better
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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