What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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