dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
