Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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