it hurts more in the daytime
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
