He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
