I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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