I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
