i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
