i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize