goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
