let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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