its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
