Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
