do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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