You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
