That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
