Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
