It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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