I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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