Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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