ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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