Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize