You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
