is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
