standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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