New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
