dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
