More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
