I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
