remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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