I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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