Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
