My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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