i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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