i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just gargled with NyQuil
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