Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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