he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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